Yes, i have been away for awhile, and yes, i'm struggling. i'm struggling with behaivior isssues and i'm in pretty intensive therapy. It's a struggle allright, changing lifetime behaivior patterns like cross dressing. The funny thing is i'm making progress. Anyone who follows this blog jknows that i can be over the top at times (to say the least) obsessively posting in copious amounts. And, i do things like marry an online Mistress, Mistress Cassie.
i have had no contact with Her since January, and i've not looked at the blog at all until today. i even donated the wedding dress to a non profit organization. Also, i dontaed a bag full of sissy cothing. Now that's progress.
So, why is it such a struggle, and who's winning? Mistress Cassie has emplored me for years to try and attain some balance in my life. Balance between work and personal life, and balance in my sissy diane life. She knew what io didn't - my carerer is over. i was into work so much that i lost my way and basically my mind. But is ignoring Mistress Cassie and diane's needs altogether the correct path for balance? Maybe not.
i'm not promising a return to the old diane and my past blogging ways, but here's a post. When i did look at the blog, i saw Mistress Cassie's post. She correctly pointed out two things.
One - i need to be spanked by Her
Two - there is an outstanding sissy assignment, given in January that is overdue. i am to spend 24 hours as a 50's housewife and post with pictures.
The spanking will come, in one way or another. Who's winning this struggle? Mistress Cassie, of course. The wedding dress may be gone, but the vows are not. i'm still very much Her sissy bride, still hopelessly caught in Her feminization trap.
i have my 50's dress on now, along with a petticoat, girdle, stockings, bra, panties, heels, and camisole. i'm holding out on the make up, hair, pictures and posting. i'm holding out on the assinment, still struggling with it all.
But, at the end of the day, i realize that this struggle is counter productive to my recovery. Mistress Cassie is not going away, and She dosen't give divorces from sissies. She will not let a trained and trapped sissy escape. It's not Her nature.
And it is my nature to submit to Her. It is also my responsibilty to find balance in my life, not Hers. She's waiting for the inevitable as i suspect my reader's are.
For now, the struggle continuses, but this is a step back towards feminization and back into Mistress Cassie's world.
sissy maid diane
i have had no contact with Her since January, and i've not looked at the blog at all until today. i even donated the wedding dress to a non profit organization. Also, i dontaed a bag full of sissy cothing. Now that's progress.
So, why is it such a struggle, and who's winning? Mistress Cassie has emplored me for years to try and attain some balance in my life. Balance between work and personal life, and balance in my sissy diane life. She knew what io didn't - my carerer is over. i was into work so much that i lost my way and basically my mind. But is ignoring Mistress Cassie and diane's needs altogether the correct path for balance? Maybe not.
i'm not promising a return to the old diane and my past blogging ways, but here's a post. When i did look at the blog, i saw Mistress Cassie's post. She correctly pointed out two things.
One - i need to be spanked by Her
Two - there is an outstanding sissy assignment, given in January that is overdue. i am to spend 24 hours as a 50's housewife and post with pictures.
The spanking will come, in one way or another. Who's winning this struggle? Mistress Cassie, of course. The wedding dress may be gone, but the vows are not. i'm still very much Her sissy bride, still hopelessly caught in Her feminization trap.
i have my 50's dress on now, along with a petticoat, girdle, stockings, bra, panties, heels, and camisole. i'm holding out on the make up, hair, pictures and posting. i'm holding out on the assinment, still struggling with it all.
But, at the end of the day, i realize that this struggle is counter productive to my recovery. Mistress Cassie is not going away, and She dosen't give divorces from sissies. She will not let a trained and trapped sissy escape. It's not Her nature.
And it is my nature to submit to Her. It is also my responsibilty to find balance in my life, not Hers. She's waiting for the inevitable as i suspect my reader's are.
For now, the struggle continuses, but this is a step back towards feminization and back into Mistress Cassie's world.
sissy maid diane
Do not worry about steps back. Take a breath, realize you will be better as a sissy, and move forward again. It happens to everyone at some time.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself, Diane, and do what you need to do. I wish you all the best. We'll be here to welcome you back if you can make it - if not, we understand
ReplyDelete