Sunday, April 13, 2014

Released from caging, i now pay for masturbation privelidges

Mistress Cassie has long ago conditioned & trained me to masturbate on Her terms. Every time i masturbate i cage for a minmum of 4 hours, much more at times - especially after a phone session with Mistress.

News flash - after 7 years of being trained to wear a cock cage after every time i masturbate, i have been released from the arrangment. The cage is no more. In it's place is a new arrangement with Mistress Cassie. Now i must pay Her every time i masturbate, not just for phone sessions. i have set up an account at Niteflirt & will be held accountable for any future masturbation event.

When the fee is paid to Her, She will know what it's for. And that is exactly what is so wickedly appealing about it to a sissy like me. Heretofor,Mistress didn't know when i masturbated. She knew that i did it in a way that furhetred my feminization, but there was no other accountability beyond the caging and training. Now She gets a payment every time i get a little more feminized in what used to be private.

Any sissy will know how exciting this prospect is, true control of my masturbation habits for sure. Controlled by a Domainat, Beautiful Woman. Any sissy who wants to experience the same level of control, just needs to set up an account at Niteflirt and start paying a masturbation fee to Mistress. The link is at the top right of my blog. In any event. i'll be doing it!

And the femming continues.....

sissy maid diane

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Battling the 50's and Mistress Cassie's hold

i am a porduct of the 50's, one of the great era's in American history. The clothes and lingerie that Women wore into the 60's was the best ever, in my opinion. While i was growing into puberety in the early sixties, this era was still alive and well. And, that cloting left an indelible impression on me. Girdles, stocking, petticoats - oh, my!

So i bought a (made for a petticoat) polka dot 50's style dress in January. It \just so happens that i have a day as a 50's Woman assignment from Mistress Cassie that is way overdue. Yes, i had the dress and girdle, petticoat, etc. on last night. But, i am battling against the urge to put it on again. Becuase the next time it will be as part of my 24 hours as a 50s housewife. Ptrobably as my 'welcoming hunny home from work attire.

Like all battles with feminization and Mistress Cassie the outcome is preordained. Mistress simply never loses! She's posted here about this and just a whisper from Her now and i'll capitulate. She didn't put a deadline on the assignment, so i'm still holding out. But, i'm running out of time in any event.

The urge grows strong........

sissy maid diane

A sissy gets spanked

Yes, i have been away for awhile, and yes, i'm struggling. i'm struggling with behaivior isssues and i'm in pretty intensive therapy. It's a struggle allright, changing lifetime behaivior patterns like cross dressing. The funny thing is i'm making progress. Anyone who follows this blog jknows that i can be over the top at times (to say the least) obsessively posting in copious amounts. And, i do things like marry an online Mistress, Mistress Cassie.

i have had no contact with Her since January, and i've not looked at the blog at all until today. i even donated the wedding dress to a non profit organization. Also, i dontaed a bag full of sissy cothing. Now that's progress.

So, why is it such a struggle, and who's winning?  Mistress Cassie has emplored me for years to try and attain some balance in my life. Balance between work and personal life, and balance in my sissy diane life. She knew what io didn't - my carerer is over. i was into work so much that i lost my way and basically my mind. But is ignoring Mistress Cassie and diane's needs altogether the correct path for balance? Maybe not.

i'm not promising a return to the old diane and my past blogging ways, but here's a post. When i did look at the blog, i saw Mistress Cassie's post. She correctly pointed out two things.

One - i need to be spanked by Her
Two - there is an outstanding sissy assignment, given in January that is overdue. i am to spend 24 hours as a 50's housewife and post with pictures.

The spanking will come, in one way or another. Who's winning this struggle? Mistress Cassie, of course. The wedding dress may be gone, but the vows are not. i'm still very much Her sissy bride, still hopelessly caught in Her feminization trap.

i have my 50's dress on now, along with a petticoat, girdle, stockings, bra, panties, heels, and camisole. i'm holding out on the make up, hair, pictures and posting. i'm holding out on the assinment, still struggling with it all.

But, at the end of the day, i realize that this struggle is counter productive to my recovery. Mistress Cassie is not going away, and She dosen't give divorces from sissies. She will not let a trained and trapped sissy escape. It's not Her nature.

And it is my nature to submit to Her. It is also my responsibilty to find balance in my life, not Hers. She's waiting for the inevitable as i suspect my reader's are.

For now, the struggle continuses, but this is a step back towards feminization and back into Mistress Cassie's world.

sissy maid diane