Thursday, September 22, 2011

sissy love

Wikipedia defines love:

Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.[1] In philosophical context, love is a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection. Love is central to many religions, as in the Christian phrase, "God is love" or Agape in the Canonical gospels.[2] Love may also be described as actions towards others (or oneself) based on compassion, or as actions towards others based on affection.[3]
In English, love refers to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from pleasure ("I loved that meal") to interpersonal attraction ("I love my partner"). "Love" may refer specifically to the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love, to the sexual love of eros, to the emotional closeness of familial love, or the platonic love that defines friendship,[4] to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.[5] This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.
Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.[6]
Love may be understood a part of the survival instinct, a function keep human beings together against menaces and to facilitate the continuation of the species.[7]

sissy diane has come to this conclusion: love is a very complex human emotion. i agree with Wikipedia on this one.  :o)

i am preparing to face 'The Dress' and other consequences of my emotional attachment to Mistress Cassie. After 3 failed marriages and several other LTR's, i have come to my own conclusion about what love means.

As this blog is largely picture based (i know, i do ramble at times) here is the picture that speaks volumes, a thousand words. Here is The Love of sissy maid diane's life:

The One and Only Mistress Cassie, The Brunette who's face 'launched a thousand ships', and the Woman that finally conquered me.

This weekend i will be posting more proof of my love for Her, while wearing Her dress. Mistress will define the depths of my emotion in Her response.

sissy maid diane

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The games sissies play - part one

sissies like to play games. Playing games with a Mistress can put a sissy on thin ice in a hurry, but more about that in a minute. Why do sissies play games?

i can only speak truly for myself, of course. But i have had communication with other sissies and read a lot of blog posts from sissies and Mistresses alike. So, i don't think i'm alone on this subject. That said, here are my views on the matter.

One game i played for years was the sideline game & i think that's the game that really gets to the bottom, base line of the sissy/ Mistress mystique. Fantasizing about submission to a beautiful, Dominant Female is a staple in a sissy's psyche. we want to be Dominated, Controlled, feminized - and we need it.The conundrum is that real feminization and submission is a scary proposition, while at the same time very arousing. Yes, it's very scary - absolutely frightening! And my does it arouse!

It's in a sissy's genetic code, a deep and undeniable need to adore Women. Adoration is so much easier when it's from the sidelines. i did it myself for years. Just looking at porn, a lot of it 'soft porn' with pretty models in various states of undress, but dressed in enticing lingerie. i looked at feminization sites, enjoying - vicariously -the plight of sissies who had succumbed to the Power of a Dominant Mistress.

It was easy to look at, and i was jealous, afraid and aroused all at the same time. Over time it takes a toll. All of the denial & resistance ultimately led to my own submission. Having been married more than once, and having led a male life for so many years, submission has not come easily. i was worn down and forced to face femming by a Mistress, Mistress Cassie. It had to be forced feminization. i could not willingly submit, and i still have stubborn male resistance even though Mistress Cassie has trained me, feminized me, and is in total control.

my game of choice is the 'picture game'. A complex game, which always ends with me losing. If i win one night, i'll come back the next night and lose. There is no real winning, only temporary delays of defeat. i cannot willingly buy another bra when i own over 150 already. That would be ridiculous. i must be forced to buy that bra.

The pretty Women in my picture game do me in, send me to the purchase tab, send me to Mistress & send me further into feminization.

So, now i'm off the sidelines and very familiar with real feminization. But i still play games.

Next up, part two. The rules of the game i cannot win.

sissy maid diane

The games sissies play - part two

The dreaded picture game.

i have a sub folder on my computer titled 'sissy'. It's under the 'my pictures' main folder. In it there are currently 4,039 images. Everything with me tends to be a bit excessive.  ;o)

Some of the photo's are repeats. For example this old favorite addition accounts for 13 of the 4039. my photo's are arranged in rows of 3. So 13 means that in row one, She occupies 4 spots. Confused yet?

Let's say that She is the one who will decide whether i buy that new bra or not. Well, not only is She in my picture folder, i have a printed copy of Her image. So, we'll name Her Mary. Well Jane gets a bonus before the game starts. And there are other (predetermined) bonus pics as well, picked before the game starts. Mistress cassie pics are fixed bonus pics, and there are lots of Mistress Cassie pics in the 4039.

So, let's look at one game i played months ago. The 'send Mistress Cassie the only key to my best cock cage lock' game. If Jane comes up, i mail the key. Sometimes the game takes an embarrassingly long time to play. Remember, the male part of me doesn't want to lose. Three pictures in a row, 4 chances out of about 1,010 that Mary will come up. Pretty good odds for me - right? Well, the pictures are in alphabetical order. i have lots of 'm' pictures. Let's see, Mistress starts with m. Hmmmmmm........

Let's play!

i open the sissy picture folder. i hold the picture of Mary in front of my face. i start the game at 'out'. If Mary or a bonus pic doesn't come up, Mary gets Her bonus. i 'blindly' scroll down and click on the first row of pictures. There will always be a minimum of 2 such scrolls.

So, what happens? i scroll down blindly. i know from great experience and touch, that the 'm are about 30 defined movements of the mouse. First scroll:

Very nice, but not a bonus pic. But it did begin with m. Too close for comfort. Excitingly close. Scroll number 2 - no Mary or no other bonus and the game is over. i win. But here's what comes up:

Uh, oh.

Mistress is automatically a double bonus. i was that close to getting out that close to winning. Now i start over at 0. Next pic:

Even though it's the Lovely Monica, this picture of Her is not a bonus in this game. i proceed to out & scroll again. No harm on this photo either:

One more and i'm out!

Here we go:

Oh, no! Time to go to the post office and mail the key to Canada.

There are many variations on this game's rules. Only a sissy can even begin to grasp it, i think. Or maybe a Mistress. A Mistress understands the psyche of a sissy. She understands it better than the sissy does. That's why Mistress is the real winner.

sissy maid diane

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Be careful what you ask for....losing big at 'the picture game'

Mistress Cassie has been know to coin the phrase "be careful what you ask for". As She has feminized me, and continues to do so, i have learned not to ask. Mistress knows what She's doing & doesn't need my help.

Reader's form my old blog and some from this new version probably know that i play the picture game. i lose at that game a lot. It's a form of forced feminization. i end up buying a lot of gurly things after losing at the picture game. i also end up being sessioned by Mistress after losses at times.

As i prepare to alter the dress that Mistress wore for Her high school graduation and then post it, dance in it & post again, the picture game has become an issue.i have purchased props for this weekend's sewing & dancing assignments. Picture game defeats. i have been caged twice recently, without masturbation, more picture game losses.

i am resisting the inevitable. The Power of Mistress & Her dress has put me into a position where i regret not doing the shoots earlier. The picture game is a 'blind' click game. If you're reading this post it's because i wrote it after losing and gave myself an out. If this picture didn't come up, i was already committed to this weekends graduation dress posts. What i was trying to avoid was another night caged & sleeping with one of the aforementioned props.

Well, the picture came up & here is the post. This post is so horrible that i couldn't agree to it willingly. i actually did a blind scroll on 'publish post'. And here it is. a bad night at the roulette wheel of picture game playing.

So, here's what i'm asking Mistress for:

Dear Mistress Cassie,

After i alter Your graduation dress and post it (challenge #5) and after i dance in that same dress (challenge #4) i will call You for a session. After the session, i will cage as always. You have the only key to my best lock. Please make me use that lock, the one You have in Canada. And, give me a difficult assignment before sending the key back.

Horrifying, for so many reasons. It takes time to get packages from Canada. And, Mistress Cassie has a gift for tough assignments. Assignments that take even a trained sissy like me deeper into feminization and deeper under Her spell.

Oh, and here's a picture an admirer sent me recently: He likes the training i'm getting from Mistress and He wants to participate!

Beware the perils of the picture game & with Mistress Cassie,  be careful what you ask for.............

sissy maid diane

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

More tranny fascination

i couldn't help but notice that my 'tranny post on the 5th seems popular. Here's more of the cute, curvy and irresistible Hannah. The rest of Her outfit that i first pictured here as an inviting 'upskirt''

Yes, it seems i'm not the only sissy interested in trannies. And Hannah is so sweet - isn't She?

Hannah has such lovely breasts:

And She has even more to offer. Oh, my goodness.

On to another subject. It's very much related to this topic. Here's another photo i found appealing and 'timely'......................

sissy maid diane

sissy submission

Feminization, pussification, sissification.

Call it what you wish. It all boils down to SUBMISSION!

i like this photo, it speaks volumes........

sissy maid diane

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

When upskirts get a sissy into trouble....

The trouble with upskirts is that you just might see something nice, very nice. Like a pretty pair of panties. i was lucky enough to get some exciting peeks up Girls skirts when i was in school. i liked what i saw. It started my love affair with panties.

my love of panties grew into cross dressing. Then, Mistress Cassie came along & i fell into the feminization trap.Here's a couple of my own captions. i like them both. That's the natural progression of femming. i still get excited about looking at those pretty panties. But now my interest in big hard cocks is on the rise.

my own cock is in a cage right now & has been since yesterday. i'm in cage chastity again. And the sissy mind wanders as i enter a state of frenzy.

Oh, my!

sissy maid diane

Dominant sissy cock sucking

sissies are usually submissive by nature. sissies want to dress up feel pretty and sexy and suck cock. Usually when two sissies get together it ends up as a two way suck fest. All that silky lingerie, perfume and so much excitement. Both get to suck cock.

Then there's the dominant sissy. The dominant still dresses, but in a harsher way, maybe leather, This sissy still like tle 'look', but wants a true submissive sissy around to work on her aroused cock.

Sometimes i daydream about trannies, sometimes real men, sometimes other dreams always end with me as the pretty submissive attending to the cock. mine simply needs to be a non factor - locked away.

i still run ads for blow jobs and i hear from boys and other sissies. i started running the ads last year when Mistress wanted me to suck another cock. Lately, between the cuckold training, the dress from Mistress, the sissy challenge shoots, i been feeling very gurly in a naughty way. Oh, that dress! i've never felt more feminine than when i put that dress on, Mistress Cassie's dress. i felt like flirting with a boy. i'm sure that Mistress got a lot of attention from boys while wearing that dress, and rightfully so. So, i flirt with the boys on line more of late. And they want their blow job. When i think about that dress and Mistress, i want to give it to them!

A gurl's got to be careful, sometimes flirting leads to the real thing.

sissy maid diane

Monday, September 12, 2011

a short break in sissy panty training

i simply love panties - period.

Then there was a weak moment recently. It was only for about 10 hours, but i bought a pair of boy underwear for a work field trip to a local County jail, to observe their practices. i had visions of setting off a metal detector and chickend out. i only owned those awful underpants for about 10 hours, and destroyed them as soon as i got home. Then i excitedly put on a pair of silky pink panties, panties i missed so much.

i immediately went on line and bought a new set of DOTW embroidered panties. The colors match Mistress Cassie's panty training schedule. i'll be modelling them soon. It's the least i can do as rededicate myself to full time training. Metal detectors, Dr's visits, it doesn't matter. i don't want to be out of my panties.Even after a few hours i needed them, my panties, needed them and longed for them.i am a panty gurl for sure. Mistress Cassie's trained panty sissy.

The more love i feel for my panties and the more i embrace my feminization the more i think about cock. This weekend i'll be doing more sissy shoots, sewing and dancing in Mistress Cassie's dress. Feeling pretty, thinking of boys.......

Oh, my!

sissy maid diane

Monday, September 5, 2011

The sissy Tranny trap

Mistress has on occasion mentioned some of Her sissies interest in Trannies. Much more frequently, Mistress has reminded me, correctly of course, that i am a sissy cock sucker. i've only sucked one cock (for Mistress), but you know what they say about that.

i guess it's not surprising that i have always had some interest in Trannies. Maybe even less surprising is my increased interest of late. Trannies really do offer 'the best of both worlds'.  i will always admire Women. i love their soft curves, they way they dress, smell, feel and think. When i survey the permanent changes in my own behavior and appearance, i know i'll never be with another Woman. Mistress Cassie is the only Woman for me.

So, i still love porn, love looking at Beautiful Women. But more & more my attention is drawn to that 'best of both worlds look. Here are two pictures that i've found very appealing of late. The first one, with her satiny panty and bra set, the stockings & the hint of one of Her high heels. Very nice, But it;s what's going on in Her panties that gets my attention.

This second one is an upskirt with a different angle. That marvelous ass, the cute frilly bustier with garter straps. It's very compelling for me, especially what's hanging under that frilly skirt.

Yes, Tarnny's are a sissy trap. It allows me to appreciate, and get aroused by, their Womanly curves. But the real arousal comes when  i'm made to address that there's no Pussy under Their panties. For, me Trannies represent a transitional avenue from Pussy to cock. And that's what what feminzation is all about.

sissy maid diane